It's the Climb..

Saturday, on my way to my 12 mile run - the last long run before the half marathon on 11/3. As I was nearing Runner's Alley, my Ipod started playing Miley Cyrus's "The Climb". I know, I know - it's Miley Cyrus.. But I actually really like the song - and there's a couple of verses that really stuck out to me. 

"Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on..."

Now if I only knew how applicable this song would be to my run that day. It was definitely a tough run. I was just getting over a sinus infection and my sinuses had been draining for days. I had an antibiotic in me that was making me super thirsty. I ended up running out of water at mile 8. By mile 9.5, I had hit a wall - with over 2.5 miles left to go - it seemed like forever. I was seriously so dehydrated and out of water. I was very much dramatizing it, but I seriously thought I was going to drop right there. As I turned onto Hanover St, shortly after mile 10 - I saw a run down convenience store. I didn't have any money or any of my credit cards on me, but I needed to stop. The guy was kind enough to let me fill my water bottles with water from the sink. I immediately started downing both of the bottles, and was out of the 20 ounces in less than a half a mile. The last 1.75 miles were really hard. I felt like they were never ending. I finally made it back to the store and just sat.. for a long time before I could even stretch. I kept sucking down water and felt like I was going to either throw up or pass out.. or both. I am pretty sure my electrolytes were low. It was a tough run with not having enough water and still dealing with the side effects of the sinus infection. I managed to get some Gatorade into me and felt better after a few hours.. Just glad to have this run behind me. 

Tuesdays run this week was hard too. When I saw the route, I was cursing the coaches for picking the route! The first couple of miles was flat; however, a good portion of this route was on bridge st - which is a hill that is really steep in some areas, and seems like it is never ending! As much as I was dreading the run when it started, I was proud of myself and happy that the coach had chosen this route. Despite the fact that my breathing was out of control, and I could barely keep up with Betsy during our conversation while I was struggling up the hill, I felt strong. 

Last night, I finished a book that I started reading a couple of days ago, called "Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run." There was so much of this book that stuck out to  me - but one passage in particular really hit home. Here are some highlights - "It's hard for me. I struggle. I suffer. I get discouraged. I get mad. I celebrate, sometimes... It doesn't always feel good in the moment, but ultimately you are a better person for it... So I may not always run the way I want to run or race the way I imagine myself racing, and my performance outside may only rarely reflect the runner on the inside, but there is a certain endurance rush reserved for those of us who have to work extra hard just to stand on the line and dream." I read this passage three times and cannot even explain how it speaks to me. I have to work really hard for my runs, and I am PROUD of them, because of how hard I have to work. 

Tonight was a much needed run. I had a stress and anxiety filled day today. I laid down after work to take a quick nap and almost skipped the run. I started making excuses that I could just do the run tomorrow, that it wasn't a big deal. But then I remembered the promise that I made to myself - I knew that I needed this run. My legs were really tight, which made the run a challenging one despite the fact there weren't really any hills. But the run was cathartic.. It gave me what I needed - a much needed stress relief. I was so glad that I went! 

Long run and a humbling 5k

This weekend, I experienced a vast array of emotions regarding my runs. Saturday morning, I had my longest run yet - 11.7 miles. Although I completed a half marathon last year, I ended up walking a lot of it. Prior to this years training, my longest run was between 6-7 miles. 

Saturday I woke up really nervous. My training the past few weeks has been great. I've been able to power through the mental mind block and run until I'm done the route - hills and all! The previous week we had done 9.5 and I wasn't expecting a 2 mile bump in mileage. I was trying really had to not let it get to me - but it was freaking me out a little. The night before I hadn't really slept well - I'd had a bunch of junk to eat the night before and had some weird panic attacks a few times throughout the night. I woke up a little sleepy, but decided to just trust the training and take it one step at a time. As it was nearly 12 miles, I decided to chunk it into 4 mile sections. The first four miles would get me to the turn onto Union St. Then the next four miles was from Union St to Reservoir Ave (hill!), and the final 4 would get me back to the store. 

I started listening to a new audiobook on this run. While it is not nearly as amazing as "Born to Run", it is a pretty good distraction on the runs. The first four miles went well - I tried to pick up the pace a little, while still conserving energy for the last 2/3 of the run. I had my energy chews at mile 4 and then stopped at the "water station" shortly after. One of our group members lives right on the route and is very kind to put out some water and Gatorade for us to be able to have on the run. I was very thankful for the electrolyte drink, since I haven't been carrying any with me - just water.. I must remember to start bringing a sport drink in my hydration belt too. The next four miles felt effortless too. I ate some more energy chews at mile 8 before I turned onto the hill at reservoir rd. Reservoir went okay - I didn't walk it, which was my only goal. I started to hit a wall around mile 10, but I knew that I was in the last 1.5 miles or so. We were cutting down a new road for us yesterday. I was so excited until I reached that point, turned the corner and saw one of the biggest hills that I had ever seen. I hate hills anyways, never mind when I'm hitting a wall hard. At first, my mind started taking over and I gave myself permission to walk the hill - I mean, I'd already run 10 miles - wasn't that enough? When I got to the bottom of the hill, I was determined to not stop and walk. I knew that I must have been relatively close to Hanover St - which is all downhill to the store, so I decided that I would just run it. As soon as I got to the top and started running down-hill, I noticed there was another huge hill up ahead - but I conquered that one as well! 

I did it - 11.7 miles without walking! I know that I am going to be able to run the half course - especially since we are lucky enough to train ON the half course. I was tired, sore, and chafed - but I did it. 

  

 This morning I had a 5k. It was the Foot Race for the Fallen and is put on by the Manchester Police Department to remember the four fallen officers that have been killed in the line of duty. I was still hurting from yesterday (from the chafing and just sore muscles), plus I started developing some sinus and congestion issues, so I almost skipped.. I started making excuses - I just ran 11.7 miles yesterday, I'm sick, I already paid my registration fee to this great cause, I didn't need to be there.. Well, I am so glad that I got my butt out of bed and went. 

First, it was the perfect fall running day today. I was actually a little overdressed, but managed to make it through. However, above all, this was just an amazing, humbling experience. When Sean and I were standing and chatting together, former Governor John Lynch came right up next to us - which was pretty cool. He was chatting with somebody who looked important, and I didn't realize that he was actually the Mayor of Manchester - also pretty cool. But that wasn't even the coolest part of the race.

At the starting line were two fire trucks with a gigantic American flag on display. There was somebody who was running in a very patriotic get up - American flag shorts and all!. The former governor and mayor said a few words and we were off! Shortly after we started running, I heard singing. There was a group of officers that were running in formation and singing throughout the entire race. For some reason, I just got very emotional and it made me tear up. I was determined to fight my hardest for this 5k and these fallen officers. I looked up my previous personal best 5k time - which was 37:57 in September of 2012. I really wanted to beat it. 

I thought that I was on track to beat it, but apparently lost some time along the way. I ended up finishing in 38:14. While I didn't PR, I was still happy with the time since I was coming off such a long run yesterday (as well as fighting a cold!). My Nike+ running app said that I actually did 3.21 miles - which might be possible. Although the course is certified, depending on factors such as weaving around people and cutting corners wider than  measured, I might have actually done 3.21 miles, which would have meant a PR, even though I can't count it. There are two things that I was upset about. As I was coming into the finish, an officer waived a car across in front of me. I was so close to the intersection at the point the car came across that I had to stop and wait for a few seconds before I could start up again. I'm also bummed that I didn't wear my GPS watch. I haven't been wearing it lately, because I've been wanting to focus on how I feel during a run instead of focusing on (obsessing over) my pace. However, I wish I wore it for this race. I feel like had I known I was so close to PR that I would have been able to push a little harder to beat my time. 

Now that I've whined about these two things, I'm dropping it. This is my fastest 5k time all year. It is also one of two of the races that I completed this year without taking a walk break. So, while I wish I would have PRd this time, I am happy with my accomplishment!

 

"Know why he could do it? Because no one ever told him he couldn't....

... No one ever told him he oughta be off dying somewhere in an old age home. You live up to your own expectations, man." - Born to Run.

On Saturday, during my long run, I finished "Born to Run". My friend, Dave lent it to me a long time ago, and I finally started reading it. I also downloaded an audio copy so that I could listen to it on my long runs while I was running by myself - I thought that it would be a distraction. I knew that once I could actually get around to reading this book that I would undoubtedly like it, but I never realized how much it would resonate with me. The quote from above is found in chapter 7. It was about a 95 year old man who went hiking into the Barrancas, in the Tarahumara mountains. I came across this part in the book a few weeks ago on my long run of 7 miles and it has stuck with me ever since. 

For the past few months, I have had the desire to run a marathon this year. I turned 26 in July, and thought it would be perfect - 26.2 in my 26th year. However, most everybody has had an opinion about why I should NOT do this. Even my husband, who believes that I should work on my times with the half marathon first, and then progress with longer distances if I want to. (Though I can't be really upset with him for this opinion - because he is the one waiting a very long time for me to finish). I know that I am responsible for my own thoughts and actions, but these expressed hesitations cause me to doubt myself - maybe they are right.. maybe I should work on my pace to at least get to a 10 minute mile.. maybe I should get to my goal weight first and THEN try to train for a marathon (my pace should naturally improve then, right?).. maybe I should do a few more half marathons before I try doing this. That seems reasonable... right? 

Wrong. What if I never get faster? What if I never reach my goal weight? What if I spend all this time waiting to do something that I want to do and can't because I die, or get injured to the point where I cannot even walk. What if I spend so long waiting for the perfect time to live my life, that I never actually get to accomplish something that I badly want to accomplish. So, I am going to do it.. I am going to train and run a marathon. Now I just need to find one - I'm thinking about towards the end of May. This way I have plenty of time to train for it safely, without it being insanely humid (I shall hope). 

26.2 miles.. whoa that is scary.. But 9.45 miles this past weekend was scary. I keep surprising myself each week that I am able to do these long training runs. Even though I completed a half last year, this is the longest run without walking breaks that I have ever done. We have 11.65 on the plate this Saturday and I'm not going to lie - I'm a little nervous, but I know that I can do it. I also know that I can do 26.2. I couldn't go out and run it this very minute, but I know that I can do it in May.

Take THAT Mind!

Did I seriously just run up Reservoir?! I totally did!! 

Tonight I had a group run. Our route tonight was 5.4 miles and incorporated a small part of the half marathon course. Tonight's run was tough physically. My calves were really tight, and my shins were hurting, which  made it tough - Apparently I need more potassium. Anyways, I was really tempted to just stop and walk, turn back or whatever. I kept thinking that it was like a couple of weeks ago, when I ran a couple days after hiking. But every time I actually considered stopping, I knew that it wasn't really pain pain, just tightness and some soreness.. so I pushed through. 

I really wanted to run up Reservoir rd tonight. I cannot tell you how many times Reservoir has been part of my route, and I have not once ran up it. It is a pretty long hill, but not terribly steep. It never fails, every time I turn the corner and start to go up the hill, I ALWAYS end up walking it. Tonight, was different. I was determined to make it up to the top of the hill and I did :) The funny thing is, that after I turned off reservoir, I realized that hill is not actually all that bad. I'm pretty positive I could have run it before. I think I had it in my head that I could not do it, and convinced myself of that each time I knew that I had to run that road as part of the route. After Reservoir, it was pretty flat on Mammoth and Hanover. I seriously LOVE running down Hanover. It's the half marathon course finish and it is  mostly down hill and just the perfect end to a race and any route really.

My pace has definitely not been the greatest, but I feel like I really have turned a corner with my running. I'm starting to believe that I can make it through the hard times - hills and all. I'm very proud that I have been really good lately about running until I'm done, and not when it gets "hard". I also think that I'm getting better about knowing when I'm in pain versus when I'm just tired or sore. After not being able to run for a few months last year with the stress fracture, I became very conservative with running - stopping every time I felt the hint of discomfort. I definitely have my little buddy Hayden to thank for the perspective, and all of my running friends - especially the ones that helped me conquer Harrison hill! ha!